What will happen to my children if I die when they are still young? - Appointing Guardians in a Will
- Kylie Cox
- Apr 5
- 5 min read
Appointing guardians in your Will is one of the most important steps you can take as a parent. While it may feel uncomfortable to think about, ensuring that someone you trust will take care of your children is vital. This guide will help you understand your options, responsibilities, and how to ensure your children's future is secure in the unimaginable event that you are no longer here to take care of them.
The Role of the Surviving Parent
The role of the surviving biological parent is often pivotal in providing stability and continuity for the child. They typically assume sole parental responsibility, allowing them to make essential decisions regarding the child's upbringing.
However, they must also navigate grief while ensuring their child feels supported. If their ability to provide care is uncertain, family members or friends may step in, creating a wider support network.
Who Would My Kids Go to If I Died if me and my partner both died?
If no guardian is appointed in your Will, the court decides based on your child’s best interests. This could lead to uncertainty, family disputes, or a decision that does not align with your values. Appointing a guardian avoids legal ambiguity and ensures your children are raised by someone you trust.
What Does It Mean to Appoint a Guardian in a Will?
When you appoint a guardian, you are legally nominating someone to raise your children if you die before they turn 18. This includes making decisions about education, health, housing, and general parenting—known as parental responsibility. Effectively, your Guardians have the same rights and responsibilities over your child as you do now.
Who Can Appoint a Guardian?
Any parent with parental responsibility can do so. Typically:
Mothers automatically have parental responsibility
Fathers named on the birth certificate or married to the mother at birth usually have it
It can also be granted by agreement or a court order
Who Can Be Appointed as a Guardian?
Your guardian should be someone you trust to raise your child in line with your values. Many people choose close friends or family, but consider their:
Age and health (especially for grandparents)
Willingness to take on the role
Important: A guardian is not legally obligated to accept. Always discuss it with them first.
Married Couples and Mirror Wills
Married couples often create mirror Wills—almost identical Wills that leave everything to the other. In this setup, the guardian clause only activates when both parents have passed away. Guardianship typically ends when the child turns 18.
What Are Trustees and How Are They Different?
If your children are under 18, their inheritance will be held in a Trust. A trustee manages this money until the child reaches a certain age (18, 21 or 25).
Trustees control finances—not the guardian
You can appoint the same people as executors and trustees
At least one trustee should be financially capable and ideally impartial
Can Guardians Use the Child’s Inheritance?
Not directly—but trustees can release funds to cover:
School fees and tuition
Living costs
Home modifications to accommodate the child
Use a Letter of Wishes to guide how these funds should be used. It’s not legally binding, but helps trustees understand your intent.
Note: You may choose to appoint the same people as both guardian and trustee, which will mean that your guardian would be able to access your child's inheritance for their advancement, maintenance and wellbeing.
Financial Considerations for Guardians
As a parent, you will appreciate that raising children can be expensive. If you don’t want your guardian to shoulder the financial burden, make this clear in your Will. Trustees can use your estate to help cover costs. Your guardians may also be entitled to apply for certain benefits when the time comes to support them and your children financially.
Tip: Include a clause or side letter indicating guardians should not suffer financially.
Understanding Parental Responsibility and Child Custody
Parental responsibility means making key decisions about a child’s life—education, healthcare, housing, etc. In most cases, the surviving parent continues this role.
If both parents die or the survivor is unfit, the courts decide based on the child’s welfare. This may result in someone you wouldn’t have chosen taking over.
Can I Set an Age for My Child to Inherit?
Yes. While 18 is the legal default, many parents choose 21 or 25 to ensure the child is more mature.
What Happens If I Don’t Appoint a Guardian?
Without an appointed guardian and no surviving parent with parental responsibility, the court decides who raises your child. This may not align with your wishes. This could also mean that your children end up under the care of Social Services until a permanent guardian is sorted.
Do I Have to Appoint a Guardian in My Will?
You can use a separate signed, dated document—but a Will is more secure. It’s less likely to be lost or ignored.
To be valid, an appointment must be:
Signed
Dated
In writing
A Will also lets you detail other wishes, such as who will look after your children's inheritance (the trustees) as well as what age you would want them to inherit. Without this, the Law decides who will be Trustee and your children inherit at 18, regardless of how financially mature they might be.
What If I Change My Mind?
You can change your Will at any time. It’s smart to review it after major life events like marriage, divorce, or the birth of a child.
What is the difference between a guardian and a trustee? A guardian raises your child. A trustee manages their inheritance until they reach the age you've set in your Will. You can appoint the same person for both roles — but the responsibilities are different.
✅ Key Takeaways
Always appoint guardians in your Will
Talk to your chosen guardians beforehand
Use a Letter of Wishes to guide trustees
Set a realistic age for children to inherit
Review your Will every few years
Supporting Bereaved Children
Losing a parent is devastating. Children may feel confused, angry, or lost. Guardians can support them by creating a safe, open space where emotions are welcome. UK organisations like Winston’s Wish and Child Bereavement UK offer guidance and counselling. Encouraging conversations about the deceased parent can help children process grief in a healthy way.
How Toucan Law Can Help
At Toucan Law, we offer:
Expert Will writing with guardian clauses
Help appointing trustees and executors
Secure storage and ongoing updates
Clear, friendly legal guidance for families
Help and guidance with Probate and Trusts
📞 Book your free consultation today and protect your children's future with confidence.
📚 Useful Resources
GOV.UK – Making a Will
NSPCC – Choosing a Guardian
MoneyHelper – Planning Your Will
Citizens Advice – If a Child is Orphaned
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